It takes time in the morning for me to become [Ana], time to adjust to what is expected of [Ana] and how she is to behave. By the time I have dressed and put the final layer of polish on the now slightly stiff but quite perfect [Ana] I know fully what part Iʼm supposed to play.

Waking up begins with saying am and now. For the past eight months waking up has actually hurt. The cold realization that I am still here slowly sets in. I was never terribly fond of waking up. I was never one to jump out of bed and greet the day with a smile like Jim was. I used to want to punch him sometimes in the morning he was so happy. I always used to tell him that only fools greet the day with a smile, that only fools could possibly escape the simple truth that now isnʼt simply now: itʼs a cold reminder. One day later than yesterday, one year later than last year and that sooner or later it will come.